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Life

Life

Brokenness: Bringing our Loveless Childhood into Adulthood

  • By Nakita Wanza
  • /
  • October 7, 2014
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For the last month I have been glued to the OWN channel watching Iyanla Vanzant’s wildly popular show, “Iyanla: Fix my life”. The show centered on a man who produced 34 children. That’s right. 34 kids from 17 different women. Needless to say, I was engrossed, flabbergasted, appalled and sad all at the same time. Not for the man but for the lifelong effects his decisions will have on his children.

Being a Daddyless Daughter, I know this story all to well. Not that my father produced that many children but because this father will never be able to give 34 children the attention, affection, financial assistance, mental, emotional and spiritual guidance each child so desperately needs. I weep and pray for the sons and daughters who he has created because they have no choice in the matter but he did. However, he chose to continue having unprotected sex with numerous women and creating babies simultaneously. So I ask myself, “Why didn’t he use his super sperm for good?” Like donating to a sperm bank to help those who are having difficulties having children or giving advice on how to produce children since he is so good at it?

However, in his defense I will say he was produced out of brokenness, physical abuse and heartache. Which only leads to a broken man searching for love. Many of us struggle with broken and loveless childhoods which we bring into our adulthood. It takes us, “Doing the work” as Iyanla Vanzant would say to truly discover what love is, forgiving ourselves from our mistakes and realizing we are all deserving of happiness and unconditional love. If we don’t’ get it from others, we need to look inside and give it to ourselves. That is the only way we can change the cycle of Daddylessness in our country and world. It’s time for us to heal!

“Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a Dad”! – Anne Geddes

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Nakita Wanza

Nakita Wanza, founder of The Ladder House, an organization that motivates, encourages and inspires girls who come from Daddyless homes to love themselves and value their self-worth. She has over 13 years in higher education and served in numerous roles. Ms. Wanza has a Bachelor’s of Arts Degree in General Communications and a Master’s of Arts in Counseling from Prairie View A&M University.

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  • 13 Comments
  • 13 Comments

13 thoughts on “Brokenness: Bringing our Loveless Childhood into Adulthood”

  • LaNée Javet

    October 8, 2014 , 12:00 am

    This is truly an awe inspiring and eye opening article. Great job!

  • LaNée Javet

    October 8, 2014 , 12:00 am

    This is truly an awe inspiring and eye opening article. Great job!

  • Nakita Chante

    October 8, 2014 , 1:52 pm

    Thank you LaNee! I am so glad you liked it!

  • Nakita Chante

    October 8, 2014 , 1:52 pm

    Thank you LaNee! I am so glad you liked it!

  • Nascha Wanza

    October 8, 2014 , 2:18 pm

    Great conversation to get things started. In order to change the midset of our peers we have to continue to engage each other in conversations that are near and dear to our hearts. This is definitely an article that will get things popping. Keep up the good work!

  • Nascha Wanza

    October 8, 2014 , 2:18 pm

    Great conversation to get things started. In order to change the midset of our peers we have to continue to engage each other in conversations that are near and dear to our hearts. This is definitely an article that will get things popping. Keep up the good work!

  • Kimberly Albert-Realtor

    October 9, 2014 , 1:47 pm

    Very good. This is a cycle that I'm breaking with my children..had one unsuccessful..but with my other 2 children refused to allow them to be daddyless. Great job Nakita

  • Nakita Chante

    October 9, 2014 , 11:44 pm

    Thanks Kim!

  • Nakita Chante

    October 9, 2014 , 11:44 pm

    Thanks Kim!

  • LaNée Javet

    October 12, 2014 , 2:57 am

    You have beautiful writing Nakita thank YOU for joining our family!

  • LaNée Javet

    October 12, 2014 , 2:57 am

    You have beautiful writing Nakita thank YOU for joining our family!

  • Nakita Chante

    October 13, 2014 , 3:10 pm

    Thank you for having me LaNee!!!

  • Nakita Chante

    October 13, 2014 , 3:10 pm

    Thank you for having me LaNee!!!

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