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Iyanla Speaks to 6 Men Who Have 87 Children with 50 Different Women [VIDEO]

  • By CulSire
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  • May 17, 2016
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There’s so much we can ALL learn from the six videos that are on this page as fathers, sons, men, husbands, mothers, daughters, women, and wives. Parents are the first teachers…they teach love, hate, happiness, and anger. We can project our own issues and insecurities unto our children, that in turn create generational curses of hurt and pain, that’s passed down to their children or that’s seen in the relationships they have with others.

This series of videos, from the Iyanla Fix My Life episode taped in 2014, is still so powerful today. There are a lot of hurt people walking around that could use some healing and some forgiveness!

PLEASE SHARE … you don’t know who may need this message, who may be hurting in silence and could use a Fix My Life moment.

On the heels of her controversial multipart mega-fix, Iyanla sat down with Jay, who had fathered 34 children with 17 different women, in studio for a no-holds-barred discussion. Iyanla had also invited onto the show five other men who were in similar situations. “No heat, no judgment,” Iyanla says.

After introducing each father and explaining why this situation affects more than just the men onstage, Iyanla shared shocking statistics about children raised in fatherless homes. “Children from fatherless homes [are] five times more likely to commit suicide than children who have a father in the home,” she says. “[They are] 20 times more likely to have a behavioral disorder, 14 times more likely to become sexually aggressive or commit rape and 10 times more likely to engage in drug abuse.”

Then, Jay opens up about Ayanna’s bombshell admission that he may not be the father of her son.

A Man with 28 Children Owns His Emptiness

Nathaniel, a man who has 28 children by 16 different women, says that after his grandfather passed away, he didn’t have a man to model his behavior after. Now, he admits that he’s struggling between boyhood and manhood.

As Nathaniel joins Iyanla on stage, Jay, a father of 34, stands back-to-back with him to offer support. Iyanla’s friend Jeff Johnson, a youth advocate, looks Nathaniel in the eye as he owns his emptiness. “I feel like a failure,” Nathaniel says.

Iyanla takes this opportunity to speak for the women who had Nathaniel’s children and single mothers like them. “I trusted that you were the promise that my daddy never gave me. I trusted that you weren’t going to hurt me like everybody else did. I trusted you with my soul, with my body, with my being,” she says to Nathaniel. “And you left me. You left me, and not only did you leave me, but you left me here with this child.”

Watch Nathaniel’s emotional apology.

The Thank-You That Brought Iyanla to Tears 

Ryan has four—soon to be five—children with four different women. During a discussion with Iyanla about love, infidelity and the responsibilities of being a father, Ryan and his mother begin to work through their issues on Iyanla’s stage.

Ryan, whose father died when he was 7 years old, gets emotional when he addresses his mother, who admits that she was verbally abusive towards him when he was a boy. First, Ryan forgives her for the past. “I forgive you for tearing me down,” he says. “I forgive you for every time I hurt myself. I forgive you. I love you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Then, Ryan reveals why he’s thankful for his mother. “Even though you weren’t my father, Mom, you showed me how to be a parent. And I never walk away from my kids because of you,” he says. “It was hard for me to come up here. I drove six hours. I wanted to turn around so many times because I knew God was going to break me down, and I didn’t want it to happen yet. But I’m sick of hurting.”

In the video below, Ryan bares his soul as an emotional Iyanla stands behind the family.

Iyanla’s Soul-Searing Truth Moment 

For weeks, Iyanla has supported the healing of Jay, a 44-year-old father of 34 children. After sitting down with Jay, his parents, five of his children’s mothers and four of his children, a family pathology of abandonment has emerged. Now, after meeting five other men who have multiple children with different women, Iyanla says an emotional pathology is evident.

“I think that we cannot underestimate and fail to recognize the impact that our history and this experience has had on the formulation of our DNA and our emotional pathology,” she tells the men. “You’re not a stud in the field making babies for the master of the South. You’re not. You are not, but it’s in your DNA.”

Watch as Iyanla shares how a history of pain and subjugation continues to affect African-Americans today.

What a Father of 5 Learned from Iyanla 

Ryan has four—soon to be five—children with four different women. During an emotional discussion with Iyanla about love, infidelity and the responsibilities of being a father, Ryan began to do the work.

In the video below, Ryan shares what he has learned from the experience. “I would say I have to acknowledge the mistakes I’ve made in the old me and let him die in order for me to be the man that I want to be,” he says. Watch as Iyanla outlines the important next steps Ryan should take to heal himself and be the best he can be for his family.

Iyanla’s Heartfelt Apology to Her Son

During a powerful exchange between a mother and her son, Iyanla has a revelation of her own and asks for her son, Damon, to join her. Once onstage, Iyanla takes her son’s face in her hands and issues a heartfelt apology.

“Forgive me for making you a repository for my anger. The anger I had toward my father. The anger I had toward myself,” she says. “And forgive me for any way that my anger constructed or impacted how you see women.” Watch as their healing unfolds.


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