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Sex and Spirituality vs Sex and Religion

  • By LaTasha Trimese
  • /
  • July 16, 2014
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Now more than ever, everywhere we go there is something that can bring our minds to a sexual nature. Magazine covers while standing in the checkout line, television shows, billboards driving down the street, the Internet…yes, these Internets!

I have always been a person who is comfortable in my sexuality no matter what. Raised from the age of 2 in the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church, I was taught that much of how I thought/behaved when it came to sex was a sin and it was not pleasing to “God”. Even with those teachings, I always honored the way that I felt, sometimes even to the extent that I just knew if there was a hell, I was indeed on my way there. Still, I couldn’t suppress my knowing that being myself was right because it was natural even if I did it scared…I did it.

These days with our sexual nature so blatantly and easily on display, many are struggling internally with making peace with what they feel, what standards they feel they should have and the rules that religion has told us are a mandate from God via scriptures in various “Holy Books” such as The Bible & The Quran.

I believe the most important thing we can do for ourselves is honor the truth that God lives through us AS us. Here are a few points about sexuality that may plant the seeds of acceptance of your full divine self:

1)   Religion says that sex outside of marriage is a sin that can separate you from “God”.

Spirituality says that sex is an act of marriage that catalysis knowledge of self.

In the churches and mosques we are taught that if we lay down with someone who we haven’t publically taken legal vows with, we are outside of God’s will. The only time it is all right to have sex is once you have committed to a lifetime with that person.

Spirituality allows us to know that the act of sex is indeed marriage, two bodies and souls joining as one is the ultimate vow that can never be rescinded in a court of law. When we lay down with one another we are merging our energies in a way that doesn’t happen when we just cross paths on the street.  The mind, spirit and body are coming together.

The act of sex outside a government recognized marriage isn’t a sin the way that many of us have been taught to believe. This is not to say that everybody everywhere should just be having sex with everybody or not.  Every individual has their own purpose here and should always govern their own behavior accordingly.  Trusting our souls to guide us to those we are to merge with in that moment is the freedom that we have.

Our soul, The Most High, Our Highest Self, Source or whatever name you use to reference the highest universal intelligence, will always lead us to the things that are for our greatest good. Even though sometimes it doesn’t seem like it based on what we can see at that time, there is something each encounter we have with another serves to ignite inside of us. When we aren’t consciously aware of our inside voice and seem to carelessly merge our souls continuously, even this isn’t a sin because it sparked a spiritual lesson that we grow through as the gift of what appears to have been *mistakes*. All things are gifting us with the opportunity to consciously know ourselves fully.  Sex, the act of creation is one of the key ways down this path when we can hear the wisdom.

2)    Religion says that you must dress and behave “modestly” so as not to entice.

Spirituality says that we are sexual beings and celebration of that is natural.

We’ve all heard the snickers and gossip about women in our neighborhoods that wear clothes that show their bodies or men that openly admire the beauty of women. The woman is deemed a “ho” or a host of other names that basically label her as a woman not up to par with “God”. We’ve heard the sermons from the pulpit of a “virtuous” woman and much of these virtues are focused on our physical and what and how other people can measure our progress.

Spirituality allows us to answer to ourselves and to know that even if we wear ankle skirts, shirts that are 2 sizes too big and head wraps everyday, our internal life, dialogue and thoughts can be raggedy and those outward choices don’t change the truth that we are ALL WORTHY. Spirituality ignites us to check all things with our inside voice for the final say and to trust that as long as we are honoring ourselves we are aligned with “God”, no matter what anyone else thinks, says or judges from outside appearances.

When we are on a walk and we see the flowers, the trees, the clouds, we don’t think the admiration of these things are lustful or sinful. The admiration for the human body mirrors the same admiration that we show for all other aspects of nature. Except that we’ve been told it is wrong, we shouldn’t do these things—so when the desires manifest, we immediately feel condemned for having the desire. We then try to suppress it and this turns innocent admiration into sneaky, lustful glares. Embracing our nature allows the energy to flow through us freely. So if you feel most comfortable in a short skirt, wear that, if you feel comfortable in a long skirt, wear that.  Just know that your level of divine alignment has nothing to do with your physical attire and you aren’t more or less sexual because of your choice of clothing.

3)   Religion says masturbation is a sin.

Spirituality says masturbation is an act of self-love.

Religion has programmed many of us to believe that touching our own bodies for sexual satisfaction isn’t pleasing to “God”. Some religions teach that sex is only for procreation and that we shouldn’t surrender to the physical desires of the body under any circumstances.

Spirituality allows us to know that all urges that our bodies have are purposeful and a gift.  We must first love ourselves! How is it that my body was created to only be touched for pleasure by someone else? It’s my body, but it is a sin to bring it to a place of pleasure and feeling good? Does that really make any sense? Why would I not be able to love myself first in all ways, physical and spiritually?

In the religious and spiritual world there is a huge focus on attempting to ignore the physical, so much to the point that the “flesh” is deemed as evil. However, all things are purposeful, this life is purposeful and in this life, we have the physical, we have these desires and we have the ability to honor them.

Religion is an anchor for many people; it serves as community, family and a source of inspiration. This is a beautiful thing when you desire to continue your association with the religion but you are taking the time to cultivate your individual spirituality.

Spirituality allows you to expand on the direct divine connection that you are to The Most High Source of all things—FOR YOURSELF. Not just relying on the interpretations of others, from the translators of the “Holy Books” to the preachers—but allowing yourself to be still enough to hear that divine voice that is alive and speaking through you at all times, if you have the courage to hear it.

These ideas I’ve shared here may not go down easily because the “standards” and “truths” that you hold yourself to say that you can’t possibly be free. However, if you just sit with that uncomfortable feeling, breathe and ask what is this feeling here to teach me? Why was I led to read this today? And allow your heart to speak, you will feel a quiet resonation with the alignment of truth and freedom that has been buried in your heart beneath rules that were given to you by others.  It may feel scary for a minute because you’ve lived your whole life being told that those whispers you’ve heard are wrong or evil and that your only source of truth must come from a book.

Relax and allow your true spirit to rise, stop condemning yourself for thoughts or behaviors you have—ask The Most High to reveal the purpose of your sexuality to you directly and allow it to unfold, because it will and it will be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever experience…TRUE FREEDOM.

I’d love to continue this discussion. What are some fears you have regarding your sexuality? What are some differences you’ve found in your understanding of sexuality outside of religion?  Sound off below!






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LaTasha Trimese

LaTasha Trimese is a passionate singer, songwriter, speaker and healer that is currently penning her first full length non-fiction book. She is a lover of people, a lover of nature, a lover of travel, a lover of music, a light bearer and a shadow embracer. Further expressions and offerings of her soul can be found at latashatrimese.com.


2 thoughts on “Sex and Spirituality vs Sex and Religion”

  • LaNée Javet

    July 17, 2014 , 4:05 pm

    Interesting perspective. I'm curious to see and hear what others think on this topic. One of the things I like most about CulSire is that we get to hear angles we may not have thought of. "grabs popcorn"

  • LaNée Javet

    July 17, 2014 , 4:05 pm

    Interesting perspective. I'm curious to see and hear what others think on this topic. One of the things I like most about CulSire is that we get to hear angles we may not have thought of. "grabs popcorn"

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