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The Term-Life Marriage Plan

  • By Andy Brown
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  • March 3, 2015
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Ahh! Wedded bliss.  Holy Matrimony.  Getting hitched. Jumping the broom. Tying the knot.  All the terms that we often use when referencing a couple on the verge of getting married. But what is marriage anyway? I mean, really. What is it?   By definition, marriage is the state of being united to a person (of the opposite sex) in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. But honestly, who is getting married in this day and age? 

Summer wedding event planning is on a slow decline.  The bridal bouquet is a far interest for many single women, and the bachelor is maintaining that mortgage and monthly rent without someone to (permanently) share his home with.

It’s not so much that the divorce rate is high, but people just aren’t getting married. According to the U.S. Census, only 45% of African American households contain a married couple, compared to 80% for Whites, and 70% among Hispanics. Black Americans are considerably less  likely than other the term-life marriage planracial/ethnic groups to ever marry, less likely to remarry, more likely to divorce, separate and cohabit (“shack”) and raise children out-of-wedlock (and in mother-only households). This trend keeps the single mother single and the baby-daddy relevant and far removed from Mom and Dad combined parenting in the household.

Face it. The stigma of being divorced or running the risk of divorce is frightening for many. Often couples will have steered away from marriage just for the sake of NOT getting a divorce. Divorce looks bad. It feels bad, and bottom-line, it can cost a great deal of money. 

In the end, the numbers don’t lie. So, if it’s numbers that matter most then why not look at marriage in numbers?
No. Not in terms of amount of marriages but in terms of years.  This would be similar to a term insurance policy.
And since marriage is indeed a contractual agreement, let’s look forthright with it and legalize the term policy of marriage. The Short-Term, the long term, and the Lifetime marriage.

For instance:

The Short-Term Marriage (5 years): Designed for those who desire to be married, but not sure for how long. They agree to a term marriage of 5 years. After the given five years is up, the married couple should review the marriage and see if they are both willing to pursue another 5 years or more, or stifle the relationship and move
on in different directions. No harm. No foul. No need for divorce.

The Long-Term Marriage (18 years) : Designed for those who have created a family and are raising children. This term marriage embraces the couple’s responsibility as parents to stay together and work things out for growth of the family and financial development during the marriage time frame. This allows the couple to evaluate their growth and the children are supported and nurtured during key developmental stages in their life by BOTH parents (mother/father). If you made the baby. Raise the baby. Once the child is of age to (legally) leave the home / graduate H.S., the wedded couple now have the option to terminate or renew their marriage for the next years to come.

The Life Marriage: The universal and most traditional marriage known to man. Til death do us part. This is the epitome of marriages and is the utmost level of commitment that two individuals can share. An entire life. Regardless of joy, pain, happiness or heartache, the couple will grow and develop with one another…..forever.

But of course, as with any breach of contract, a penalty would be required for divorce. In most cases, divorce occurs due to lack of faith and or finances. Therefore, in an effort to emphasize the need to stay married and honor the given vows, there should be an enforced financial penalty introduced. A percentage, if you will.

If a marriage was due for a term of 5 years and the couple only made it 2 years without looking for divorce, then they would be (by law) required to pay a 3%  tax to the state of where they reside of their overall accumulated assets during the time of marriage. If they are married for 4 years into an 18 year term, then 12% tax to the state and so on.

Communication is the doorway to success. And commitment is key. The question is how long are we willing to commit to our mate and communicate this to them?

@AndyBrownSpeaks

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Andy Brown

Andy Brown is an award winning stage play producer, internet radio talk show host, and author of the eye opening book, ‘Second Place Women Who Come In First’. Learn more about him at www.AndyBrownSpeaks.com

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2 thoughts on “The Term-Life Marriage Plan”

  • J'Cinda Horton

    March 7, 2015 , 1:33 am

    Fascinating!! I also think you should pass a couple's course to obtain a marriage license. It's just wayyy too easy to get married…:))

  • Roger Madison

    March 13, 2015 , 9:16 pm

    Full disclosure — we have been married for 47 years. Children are grown. Grandchildren are growing up. Happier than we have ever been.

    If marriage is an "institution," then the foundation is crumbling and being altered beyond recognition. While it is a contract sanctioned by the state, the concept of marriage is a bond , a union, becoming one — for the benefit of establishing a strong family. As the family crumbles, so do other institutions in our society. We have reached a stage where "all options are on the table." The result is that it is difficult to form a long term relationship for any reason — business, political, social, marriage. The term "in a relationship" is now the substitute for commitment. In business, it is "in a contract." In politics, it is just the next "election cycle." The result is the absence of trust, integrity, and commitment. No one keeps a job for long, no one is in a relationship for long, no one is married for long. In very many cases, children are the innocent victims. After several generations, they no longer learn how to form trusting relationships. Sexual intimacy is just recreation, and marriage is just a contract — short term, medium term, long term — like buying insurance. I am saddened that the concept of marriage has come to this.

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